"Slow Moving Train Wreck"

[Russell Spriggs]

That's how an agent described the property his client wants to buy! Maybe it's a short sale & he's trying to negotiate the price down for his client, but this is a copy of what he'd documented to the bank, & sent to me:

1. The decking system leading down to the lake and dock are in total disrepair. In fact, out of all the properties I have looked at, this is probably the most dangerous situation I have come across. The decking is ready to collapse and in one section the next person that walks on it will likely fall approximately 6 feet on to a steep granite rock outcropping. The verbal estimate to replace this deck and dock are between $30,000 and $40,000.

2. The water filtration system is in need of total replacement. Verbal quote between $7500 and $10,000.

3. The deck leading off the main level has numerous problems and is in need of repair.

4. The roof has excessive moss. Not only growing on top of the shingles but from under the shingles as well. The roof is in need of total replacement. Estimated replacement cost $5000 to $8,000.

5. The basement is unfinished and has multiple areas of extreme wood rot. The spiral staircase leading down to the basement is a legal or functional access for a basement access. In fact, the basement space is included in the square footage and should probably be walled off and not used.

6. Too many areas in need of repair on the interior to list. These include bathrooms, fixtures, kitchen, etc...

7. The living room next to the kitchen is sloping 1/2" per foot. I have not been able to identify why. The footings for the structure are simply wood beams resting on natural granite rocks. This could be part of the problem. The whole house is resting on sloped granite rocks. Me, or my builders, are not sure why it is not slipping down the hill.

8. The entire top level is converted attic space that at best could be considered dysfunctional and shows signs of inadequate bracing and blocking where dormers have been added. This area would have to be stripped of drywall and upgraded to meet current codes.

9. The property was represented as having potable water and a septic. Neither exist! The water is pure unfiltered river water. The septic system is not permitted and legally is not be hooked up.

10. Grading issues exist around the structure where water is running directly at or into the foundation. Significant grading is required.

11. Several major issues with plumbing and electrical.

12. An old damaged shed next to the house needs to be removed.

In summary, the house does not have water, sewer, a reliable foundation, dangerous decking and a myriad of other problems. The structure was considered by both builders to be a total tear down. All this was found prior to my ordering an inspection!

[Stephen W. Stanczyk]

And he did this all with a flashlight and screwdriver. And why were you there?

[John J. Passailaigue, Jr.]

Well..........at least you'll have an idea of what you are up against. On my fast moving train wreck inspection, I was told by the R.E. agent that my wreck would probably be the best house ever. After I finished and thought that she had been joking all along, I called her and asked why she didn't like me. I quickly learned that she was serious about the home and was mad as hell at me for "finding" all of the problems. Needlessly said, she is no longer in the housing business. Unbelievable experience.

[Russell Spriggs]

Originally Posted by sstanczyk

And he did this all with a flashlight and screwdriver. And why were you there?

I haven't been there yet-
I go on Sunday!

[Joe Funderburk, CMI]

I'd add an additional $50 to that job.

[Steven C. Waskewicz]

Man, you ought to have fun with that place...pack a lunch.

[Dominic J. Maricic]

Originally Posted by jfunderburk

I'd add an additional $50 to that job.

LOL

[dcook1]

Originally Posted by jfunderburk

I'd add an additional $50 to that job.

For ink !