Ah, the Christmas fan...

[Jae Williams]

"Sweetie, the fan in our bathroom is awfully noisy. Could we get a new one?" My wife thought it was bumping, or knocking, or something like that.

"Uh, yeah, sure, whatever." I jumped from my recliner cheering wildly for 'my team' which just scored a touchdown. "Whatever you would like, Sweetie."



We got to Lowe's later that day and were exploring the offerings in the bathroom exhaust fan department. I found the 'perfect' fan--"Here's one for $14 I said (at this time of year I like to keep the price down).

She complained that it wasn't a good enough fan--it has 5.0 sones.

I said, "I think that the higher the sone, the better the fan, in 'Sonesburg'". She though one with only 1.0 sone would be better. Yeah, $86 better, I though to myself. "That poor little thing only has one 'sone'. I'll bet he was picked on by all the bigger-soned fans at Sonesburg P.S. 33 school playground." She didn't agree.


Returning home with the sone-deficient, high-dollar bathroom exhaust fan, I prepared to gather the necessary tools for the installation.

"Shouldn't we call a professional for this job" she asked?

"Might I remind you that I am the professional--and have been for more than 50 years."

She sighed and said she didn't want me to hurt my little self, and maybe I'm not what I used to be.

"I may be older than those young fellers today, but I can do anything they can--it just takes me longer."

She furrowed her brow and stared at me for a full 30 seconds (which can seem an eternity), slowly shook her head and said, "No, it doesn't."


It didn't dawn on me what she had just said until much later that night. But by then it was too late--I was enjoying my second 'post-operational' cigaret.


I will call a professional in the morning--to fix the hole in the ceiling where my foot went through from the attic.

And to replace the bathroom window, broken when I almost fell out of the bathroom when the step ladder fell over.

And, oh, yeah...someone to install the damned fan.

[Keith R. Braun]

Jae,
I so enjoy reading your posts and your witty humor! Does this come naturally to you or do you have to work at it? I'm assuming your team is Ohio State. I remember going to Buffalo State College about 4 years ago to watch the Catholic High School basketball playoffs and marvelling at the mammoth center on the court named Doug Worthington. I believe that is the same Doug Worthington that is a junior on your starting 'D' line (#84). Quite a win by Texas. Anyway, good to see a local talent make the big time.
Incidentally, up for play of the year award on ESPN is a wide out from the University @ Buffalo making a Hail Mary catch in the end zone on the last play of the game. His name is Naaman Roosevelt (St. Joe's) who played against Worthington (St.Francis) in baketball & football. 3 degrees of separation. I'm rambling on here...

[Jae Williams]

Originally Posted by kbraun

Jae,
I so enjoy reading your posts and your witty humor! Does this come naturally to you or do you have to work at it? I'm assuming your team is Ohio State. I remember going to Buffalo State College about 4 years ago to watch the Catholic High School basketball playoffs and marvelling at the mammoth center on the court named Doug Worthington. I believe that is the same Doug Worthington that is a junior on your starting 'D' line (#84). Quite a win by Texas. Anyway, good to see a local talent make the big time.
Incidentally, up for play of the year award on ESPN is a wide out from the University @ Buffalo making a Hail Mary catch in the end zone on the last play of the game. His name is Naaman Roosevelt (St. Joe's) who played against Worthington (St.Francis) in baketball & football. 3 degrees of separation. I'm rambling on here...

Excuse me, sir!! I demand satsfaction!

I am California born and bred--a product of the Northern agricultural area.

Ohio State, indeed.

It is great pride (and a sense of vicarious accomplishment) that I profess to be a long-time fan of the UNIVERSITY of SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA TROJANS!!

And my hero?? Of course, Marion Robert Morrison...the DUKE.

Harumph!! Ohio State...sissy-boom-BAH!!!

[Keith R. Braun]

I rest my case with the wit. But I had no idea of the magnitude to which you have mastered the use of proper English! (Harumph!! I haven't heard that since an old Monty Python movie.) Keep making us laugh Jae. We need a bit more levity on this board. Have a good night.

[Jae Williams]

Originally Posted by kbraun

Jae,
I so enjoy reading your posts and your witty humor! Does this come naturally to you or do you have to work at it? I'm assuming your team is Ohio State. [I remember going to Buffalo State College about 4 years ago to watch the Catholic High School basketball playoffs and marvelling at the mammoth center on the court named Doug Worthington. I believe that is the same Doug Worthington that is a junior on your starting 'D' line (#84).] Quite a win by Texas. Anyway, good to see a local talent make the big time.
Incidentally, up for play of the year award on ESPN is a wide out from the University @ Buffalo making a Hail Mary catch in the end zone on the last play of the game. His name is Naaman Roosevelt (St. Joe's) who played against Worthington (St.Francis) in baketball & football. 3 degrees of separation. I'm rambling on here...

You might enjoy, then, the HS football games here. They all draw quite a crowd.

Texas likes to talk about their HS programs and well they draw. I was returning an out-of-town client to the airport on time, when we chanced to pass Paul Brown Stadium (which is where the Bengals sleep each Sunday afternoon). He asked if the stadium had any other use and I said HS teams play there occasionally. One team, highly ranked nationally, from the Ohio side of the river played a game there against another nationally ranked team from the Kentucky side of the river. The Texan was blown away when I told him the attendance for a High School footbal game--46,000...that's forty-six thousand.

[Mark A. Timpani, CMI]

Nice story Jae, hope your not hurt.