Funny Sayings

I’m curious about some of the funniest things your home owners or clients have said during a Home Inspection.

A home owner recently said to me, “The attic hatch? Oh yeah, I think that’s in the basement.”

Or: I commented that obstructing the microwave vents is not a recommended practice. “Oh? We’ve already had a fire in there.”

I commented on a VERY bad wood stove which had a hole in the side and very dangerous. I told the home owner not to EVER use it again. She said to me, “Don’t worry, we won’t use it until next weekend.”

Seller:

do you need to look in ALL the rooms?

Me:

yes sir, I do (trying to be a straight faced as possible, but thinking, really?)

The dishwasher is broken and has leaked all over the floor like 10 times. Since I told you, you don’t need to report it right??

Be careful up there (in the attic), there may be a raccoon in there:shock:

just have some of the guys over and make a pot a chili for them- you guys could replace that roof in a few hours!

Stated by an irate seller: "So what if there is a shingled over opening at the roof decking. Who is ever going to go on the roof—other than you? "

I got to the house for a radon set and was chatting with the sellers. He wanted to show me the attic opening and the fireplace blower controls, trying to be helpful for when I come back for the inspection. The mother lived with them…sweet old lady grabbed me by the arm and said, “I want to show you a few things too” She started tellin me how you had to wiggle the toilet handle to get it to flush, To hit a light switch to get it to work, and about 3 other defects. The daughters face turnd bright red and she just started shaking her head. I said, thank you and told her at least they are all simple fixes:D

Used house salesman said:
“This is an “as is” sale, your client will not be able to negotiate for all those issues in your report”. My response was: " I work for my client. Maybe you should have convinced my client to use one of your Retard Check inspectors. Their reports might satisfy you, but I work for my clients.

On an inspection a few years ago, the foundation had significant crack at all four corners that was definate foundation movement. The realtor told me I was nitpicking.

Just recently (about a week ago) I was looking up in a basement above the drop ceiling. They had about 15 recessed lights the old work type of rough ins simple cut and supported by only the tiles…:shock: Not tied or fastened to anything. Also a few floating (not in a box) wire splices with actual Johnson and Johnson Band aids and no wire nuts :shock: The seller called me after hearing about my write up in my report and asked me where I get off commenting on those items as they have been that way and working for over 8 years since He installed them and never had a problem?..:roll::shock:

Jim