Home Inspector Humor, compliments of Todd Riley.

[Nick Gromicko]

Feel free to post the following on InterNACHI website....Todd
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Home Inspection Humor
By: Todd Riley
Sherlock Home Inspections
Cape Coral, FL (serving all of Lee, Charlotte, & Collier Counties)
(239) 292-0756

Inspector Apprentices note problems (P)
Senior Inspectors propose solutions (S)

P: Paint peeling & damage to wood siding, possibly from a run in with the lawn mower
S: Bring the lawnmower out to the wood siding. Make the two shake hands & make up

P: Kitchen appliances look tired
S: Make them take naps during the day

P: Ventilation fan in the kitchen is on its way out
S: Help the ventilation fan with its luggage & remind it not to let the door hit it on the...

P: A/C handler almost needs replacement
S: Suggest home owner almost replace A/C handler

P: Something loose in refrigerator door hinges
S: Tightened something in refrigerator door hinges

P: Dead bugs on window ledges
S: Must wait approx 15 days, live bugs on back-order

P: Evidence of leak under kitchen sink
S: Remove evidence

P: Garbage disposal unbelievably loud
S: Set garbage disposal volume to more believable level

P: Sprinkler controls inoperative in OFF mode
S: Everything is always inoperative in OFF mode

P: Suspected crack in master bedroom window
S: Suspect you're right

P: Dishwasher sounds funny
S: Warned dishwasher to straighten up, clean dishes, and be serious

P: Hot water heater hums
S: Reprogram hot water heater with lyrics

P: Mouse in attic
S: Install cat

P: Noise coming from air handler in attic. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer
S: Take hammer away from midget

[Jeffrey R. Wicklander]

Reminds me of the other one....

Pilot vs Mechanic Humor


After every flight, pilots complete a gripe sheet which conveys to the mechanics, problems encountered with the aircraft during the flight that need repair or correction. The form is a piece of paper that the pilot completes and then the mechanics read and correct the problem. They then respond in writing on the lower half of the form what remedial action was taken and the pilot reviews the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humour.
Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems submitted by pilots and the solution recorded by maintenance engineers.

P = The problem logged by the pilot.
S = The solution and action taken by the engineers.

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except autoland very rough.
S: Autoland not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 fpm descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud. (DME = Distance Measuring Equipment)
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction-locks cause throttle-levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for.

P: IFF inoperative. (IFF = Identification – Friend or Foe)
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with words.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.