[FONT=Calibri]DEMOCRAT[/FONT]
You have two cows.
**Your neighbor has none. **
You feel guilty for being successful.
You push for higher taxes so the government can provide cows for everyone.
[FONT=Calibri]REPUBLICAN [/FONT]
[FONT=Calibri]You have two cows. [/FONT]
[FONT=Times New Roman]Your neighbor has none.
**So? **[/FONT]
[FONT=Calibri]SOCIALIST [/FONT]
**[FONT=Times New Roman]You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor. **[/FONT]
[FONT=Calibri]You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow. [/FONT]
[FONT=Calibri]COMMUNIST [/FONT]
**[FONT=Times New Roman]You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with milk. **[/FONT]
[FONT=Calibri]You wait in line for hours to get it.[/FONT]
**[FONT=Times New Roman]It is expensive and sour. **[/FONT]
[FONT=Calibri]CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE [/FONT]
[FONT=Calibri]You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows. [/FONT]
[FONT=Times New Roman]BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE[/FONT]
**[FONT=Times New Roman]You have two cows. Under the new farm program, the government pays you to **[/FONT]
[FONT=Calibri]shoot one, milk the other, and then pour the milk down the drain. [/FONT]
**[FONT=Times New Roman]AMERICAN CORPORATION **[/FONT]
[FONT=Calibri]You have two cows. You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on [/FONT]
[FONT=Calibri]the 2nd one. [/FONT]
**[FONT=Times New Roman]You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows. **[/FONT]
**[FONT=Times New Roman]You are surprised when one cow drops dead. **
**You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized and are **[/FONT]
[FONT=Calibri]reducing expenses. [/FONT]
**[FONT=Times New Roman]Your stock goes up. **[/FONT]
**[FONT=Times New Roman]FRENCH CORPORATION **[/FONT]
[FONT=Calibri]You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows. [/FONT]
[FONT=Calibri]You go to lunch and drink wine.[/FONT]
[FONT=Times New Roman]Life is good.[/FONT]
[FONT=Calibri]ITALIAN CORPORATION [/FONT]
[FONT=Calibri]You have two cows but you don’t know where they are. [/FONT]
**[FONT=Times New Roman]You break for lunch. Life is good. **[/FONT]
[FONT=Calibri]JAPANESE CORPORATION [/FONT]
[FONT=Calibri]You have two cows. [/FONT]
[FONT=Calibri]You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. [/FONT]
[FONT=Times New Roman]They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains.
Most are at the top of their class at cow school.[/FONT]
[FONT=Calibri]GERMAN CORPORATION [/FONT]
**[FONT=Times New Roman]You have two cows. You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, **[/FONT]
[FONT=Calibri]give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour. [/FONT]
[FONT=Calibri]Unfortunately, they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.[/FONT]
[FONT=Calibri]RUSSIAN CORPORATION [/FONT]
[FONT=Calibri]You have two cows. You drink some vodka.[/FONT]
**[FONT=Times New Roman]You count them and learn you have five cows. **
**You drink some more vodka, count them again and learn you have 42 cows. **[/FONT]
[FONT=Calibri]The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have. [/FONT]
[FONT=Calibri]TALIBAN CORPORATION [/FONT]
**[FONT=Times New Roman]You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are two. **
**You don’t milk them because you cannot touch any creature’****s ****private parts. **[/FONT]
[FONT=Calibri]You get a $40 million grant from the U.S. government to find alternatives to [/FONT]
[FONT=Calibri]milk production but use the money to buy weapons.[/FONT]
[FONT=Times New Roman]IRAQI CORPORATION[/FONT]
[FONT=Calibri]You have two cows. They go into hiding. [/FONT]
**[FONT=Times New Roman]They send radio tapes of their mooing. **[/FONT]
[FONT=Calibri]POLISH CORPORATION [/FONT]
[FONT=Times New Roman]You have two bulls. Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to[/FONT]
[FONT=Calibri]milk them. [/FONT]
[FONT=Calibri]BELGIAN CORPORATION[/FONT]
[FONT=Times New Roman]You have one cow. The cow is schizophrenic.
**Sometimes the cow thinks she’s French, other times she’s Flemish. **[/FONT]
[FONT=Calibri]The Flemish cow won’t share with the French cow.[/FONT]
**[FONT=Times New Roman]The French cow wants control of the Flemish cow’s milk. **
The cow asks permission to be cut in half.
The cow dies happy.[/FONT]
[FONT=Calibri]FLORIDA CORPORATION [/FONT]
[FONT=Calibri]You have a black cow and a brown cow. [/FONT]
**[FONT=Times New Roman]Everyone votes for the best looking one. **[/FONT]
[FONT=Calibri]Some of the people who actually like the brown one best accidentally vote for [/FONT]
**[FONT=Times New Roman]theblack one. **[/FONT]
[FONT=Calibri]Some people vote for both. Some people vote for neither. [/FONT]
[FONT=Calibri]Some people can’t figure out how to vote at all. [/FONT]
[FONT=Calibri]Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which one you think[/FONT]
**[FONT=Times New Roman]is the bestlooking cow. **[/FONT]
[FONT=Calibri]CALIFORNIA CORPORATION [/FONT]
[FONT=Times New Roman]You have millions of cows. They make real California cheese. **[/FONT]
**[FONT=Calibri]Only five [/FONT][FONT=Calibri]speak English. [/FONT]
[FONT=Times New Roman]Most are illegal.
Arnold likes the ones with the big udders.[/FONT]