Political science for dummies

[Jae Williams]

DEMOCRAT
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
You feel guilty for being successful.
You push for higher taxes so the government can provide cows for everyone.

REPUBLICAN
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
So?

SOCIALIST
You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.

COMMUNIST
You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
You wait in line for hours to get it.
It is expensive and sour.

CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.

BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows. Under the new farm program, the government pays you to
shoot one, milk the other, and then pour the milk down the drain.

AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on
the 2nd one.
You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows.
You are surprised when one cow drops dead.
You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized and are
reducing expenses.
Your stock goes up.


FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.
You go to lunch and drink wine.
Life is good.

ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows but you don't know where they are.
You break for lunch. Life is good.

JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains.
Most are at the top of their class at cow school.

GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer,
give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour.
Unfortunately, they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.

RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You drink some vodka.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You drink some more vodka, count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have.

TALIBAN CORPORATION
You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are two.
You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature's private parts.
You get a $40 million grant from the U.S. government to find alternatives to
milk production but use the money to buy weapons.

IRAQI CORPORATION
You have two cows. They go into hiding.
They send radio tapes of their mooing.

POLISH CORPORATION
You have two bulls. Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to
milk them.

BELGIAN CORPORATION
You have one cow. The cow is schizophrenic.
Sometimes the cow thinks she's French, other times she's Flemish.
The Flemish cow won't share with the French cow.
The French cow wants control of the Flemish cow's milk.
The cow asks permission to be cut in half.
The cow dies happy.

FLORIDA CORPORATION
You have a black cow and a brown cow.
Everyone votes for the best looking one.
Some of the people who actually like the brown one best accidentally vote for
theblack one.
Some people vote for both. Some people vote for neither.
Some people can't figure out how to vote at all.
Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which one you think
is the bestlooking cow.

CALIFORNIA CORPORATION
You have millions of cows. They make real California cheese.
Only five speak English.
Most are illegal.
Arnold likes the ones with the big udders.

[Gary Farnsworth]

Typical American home inspector with no business; no cows.

[George A. H. Luck]

CANADIAN SYSTEM
You have two cows and improve the breed through years of hard work to the point that it is the best cow in the world. Then your neighbours to the south tell you that your cows are obsolete. So you destroy the entire herd and turn them into hamburgers with the possible exception of one which may have gotten away.
(For my American friends look up the A.V.ROE ARROW)

[Wayne B. Wilson]

Originally Posted by gluck

CANADIAN SYSTEM
You have two cows and improve the breed through years of hard work to the point that it is the best cow in the world. Then your neighbours to the south tell you that your cows are obsolete. So you destroy the entire herd and turn them into hamburgers with the possible exception of one which may have gotten away.
(For my American friends look up the A.V.ROE ARROW)

But you have to keep your meat because of Mad cow lolo

[Michael Larson]

Originally Posted by gluck

CANADIAN SYSTEM
You have two cows and improve the breed through years of hard work to the point that it is the best cow in the world. Then your neighbours to the south tell you that your cows are obsolete. So you destroy the entire herd and turn them into hamburgers with the possible exception of one which may have gotten away.
(For my American friends look up the A.V.ROE ARROW)

http://www.salciampa.com/videos/a-v-...ow-slide-show/

[Wayne B. Wilson]

I heard there where 2 one fly's one for parts.

[George A. H. Luck]

Wish it was true but afraid not. There is a rumour that one got away ( apparently heard taking off with the newly developed Orenda Iroquois turbo-jet engines installed the night before the programme was stopped - they had a unique sound and could easily be picked out just like the Merlin engines in the Spitfire a generation before). If it did, then that plane is in one of the secret desert storage facilities in the American south west.

AND WE WANT IT BACK !

[Jae Williams]

Originally Posted by gluck

Wish it was true but afraid not. There is a rumour that one got away ( apparently heard taking off with the newly developed Orenda Iroquois turbo-jet engines installed the night before the programme was stopped - they had a unique sound and could easily be picked out just like the Merlin engines in the Spitfire a generation before). If it did, then that plane is in one of the secret desert storage facilities in the American south west.

AND WE WANT IT BACK !

What'll you give us for it...?