Teacher arrested

[Jae Williams]

At New York's Kennedy airport today, an individual later discovered to be a public school teacher was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide rule, and a calculator.

At a morning press conference, the U.S. attorney general said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement.

He is being charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.

"Al-gebra is a fearsome cult," the attorney general said. "They desire average solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a search of absolute value. They use secret code names like 'x' and 'y' and refer to themselves as 'unknowns', but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, 'there are 3 sides to every triangle'."

When asked to comment on the arrest, former President George W. Bush said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes!!!"

[Mark A. Timpani, CMI]

very nice!!!

[Wayne B. Wilson]

How true

[Bob Elliott]

There is also an Asian Branch of this Death Cult known as ABACUS.
They have been known to carry beads of DEATH with which they choke their victims.

They worship a Ruler and the form of government they wish to push in place is known as Slide Rule.

There is no fast method of calculating them as they live in the past and wish to Subtract us all by Adding to their Numbers.

Nothing will Remain as they wish to Divide us, but have not been able to do so yet.

[Jae Williams]

Originally Posted by belliott

There is also an Asian Branch of this Death Cult known as ABACUS.
They have been known to carry beads of DEATH with which they choke their victims.

They worship a Ruler and the form of government they wish to push in place is known as Slide Rule.

There is no fast method of calculating them as they live in the past and wish to Subtract us all by Adding to their Numbers.

Nothing will Remain as they wish to Divide us, but have not been able to do so yet.

Now ya, got me scared. I'm not leaving my house.

Where's that number for pizza delivery...?