Winter in Canada

[Charles R. N. Crooker]

Kind of says it all in Ontario....

Cold enough for you?

Why I Love Ontario ... but could apply to any cold local It's winter in Ontario And the gentle breezes blow,
70 miles per hour at 52 below!
Oh, how I love Ontario
When the snow's up to your butt. You take a breath of winter air And your nose is frozen shut. Yes, the weather here is wonderful,I guess I'll hang around. I could never leave Ontario,'Cause I'm frozen to the ground.
The real Ontario Driver's Handbook anyone who has commuted or even just driven on the 401 through Toronto , the 2007 version of the Ontario Driver's Handbook has beenrewritten to include the following guidance:

1. Turn signals will give away your next move. A confident Ontariodriver avoids using them.
2. Under no circumstance should you maintain a safe distance between you and the car in front of you; the space will just be filled in bysomebody else, putting you in an even more dangerous situation.
3. The faster you drive through a red light, the less of a chance youhave of getting hit.
4. Warning! Never come to a complete stop at a stop sign. No-one expects it and it will result in you being rear-ended
5. Never get in the way of an older car that needs extensive bodywork,especially with P.Q. or Maritime plates. With no fault insurance, theother operator has nothing to lose.

6. Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible to ensure that your ABS kicks in, giving a vigorous foot massage as the brake pedalviolently pulsates. For those of you without ABS, it's a chance to strengthen your leg muscles.

7. Never pass on the left when you can pass on the right. It's a goodway to prepare other drivers entering the highway.

8. Speed limits are arbitrary figures; they are given only as asuggestion and are not enforceable in Ontario during rush hour, especially in the G.T.A..
9. Just because you're in the left lane and have no room to speed up ormove over doesn't mean that an Ontario driver flashing his high beamsbehind you doesn't think he can go faster in your spot
10. Always brake and rubberneck when you see an accident or even someonechanging a tire. This is seen as a sign of respect for the victim.

11. Learn to swerve abruptly without signalling. Ontario is the home ofhigh-speed slalom-driving, thanks to the Department of Public Works, which puts pot-holes in key locations to test drivers' reflexes and keepthem alert]

12. It is tradition in Ontario to honk your horn at cars in front of you that do not move within three milliseconds of the light turning green. 13. To avoid injury in the event of a collision or roll-over, it is important to exit your vehicle through the windshield right away.Wearing your seat belt will only impede your hi-velocity escape from danger.

14. Remember that the goal of every Ontario driver is to get ahead ofthe pack by whatever means necessary.
]THANK YOU The Ontario Registrar of Motor Vehicles

[lolsen]

Same applys to Alberta.

The QE2 (highway 2) between Edmonton and Calgary is a race track. Speed limit 110kph, average speed 130kph, top speed ???? I ave been going 130 and been passed by a convoy of cars doing in excess of 150kph.

CRAZY

Lawrence Olsen
www.universalinspections.ca

[Allan G. Berdahl, CMI]

Lawrence,

Were my rear signal lights working?

Al

[lolsen]

Al

No

It helps if you move the leaver on the steering column. Dumb Calgaryians

Lawrence

[Mario A. Kyriacou, CHI]

Charles,

I was raised in Toronto and find your comments to be (sadly) accurate! It must be the air ,or the something in the water .

[rwand1]

Things I hate about drivers in the Toronto region.

- Left lane hogs.
- Left lane hogs on the cell phone oblivious to traffic behind them wishing to pass.
- Lack of signal use for lane changes and at intersections.
- People who do no clean snow from windows, headlights and tail lights.
- People who expect to be let in and not having the courtesy to signal that they would like to cut in.
- People who do not drive with their full headlight system on in fog, snow, rain.... arrrrrgh. You flash your lights at them, only to have them wave at you!

- LITTER BUGS!

- The police who target speeders while ignoring just about every other highway traffic infraction.

- Women applying makeup and combing hair and using the rearview mirror as a vanity mirror.

Do a good turn today and signal!

[Claude Lawrenson]

I do not think Torontonians are the only left lane hogs - in Windsor the 401 and the Expressway are the same. What is even more interesting is watching the wall of 3 full lanes of the back-ends of semi's coming from or going to the bridge to the USA. Welcome to Windsor!

[aerb]

that all sounds like drivers in Saskatchewan!
in the - 70 with the wind chill

[George A. H. Luck]

Just yesterday I took the Highway #2 express-way into Gananoque and was stuck behind a convoy of tractors pulling hay wagons with the left lane blocked by a wagon full of hogs ( left lane hogs)! Not one of them signaled and the exhaust was terrible ( gummed up the wipers)

And you might know, every one of them turned into 'Timmy's' and cut off three snowmobiles and a four wheeler in the process. Traffic!
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[Allan G. Berdahl, CMI]

Gee George,

That sounds like a Red Deer/Central Alberta standard rush hour.

[Vern Mitchinson]

A miracle in Edmonton is getting three green lights in a row.

[Allan G. Berdahl, CMI]

Green lights?????????
What are those?
If we do the speed limit here, we are penalized by bein the first one to the next red light. Those tht speed make it to work on time.

[cboyd]

Oh boy did you guys ever hit a good one here, I feel qualified to reply as I have been in a transport since 1998.
I do Ontario to Alberta 2 x a month in fact I am at the ROAD KING in Edmonton now. Ontario wins, the stupidity award hands down, Quebec runs a close second- just as dangerous, just better at it. I see more accidents between Brockville and Bellville where I pick up my truck than I see the rest of the way to Alberta. Manitoba and Sask are pretty relaxed and uncrowded and courteuos. I find in Alberta the truckdrivers are the menace and cars are for the most part pretty decent. As far as the Deerfoot, yes it is busy but you can get from Mcnight to Piegan or Glenmore in about 20 minutes, that same distance on 401,404,QEW or 403 could take 1 or more hours. Alberta is busy but I take it over the corridor of death anyday(401)