Well, it seems that during the last 6 months all my bank accounts have been suspended, impended, expended, intended, rear-ended, and who knows what all. Seems I have had credit cards and deposits that I did not know about.
Michigan** Teachers Credit Union?..Huh…?**
Bank of America? Not in over forty years (since I’ve been in Ohio). I must have left a lot of money there when I moved…
Fairwind (or is it breakwind) Credit Union…wassup with that???
Seems as though every credit card in the country is in my name and has been violated, terminated, constipated, and I’m exasperated…
**My Paypal account has had new Emails added to it; with activity from overseas, underground, outer space, inner sanctum, and through the woods. It has been compromised, exercised, exorcized, biggie-sized, and pasteurized. It has been abused, overused, misused, deused, refused, and reclused. **
But am I worried?? Of course not.
No, nein, no way, no sir, nyet, huh-uh, and not-at-all…
You see, I have won every sweepstakes in the world. The Irish Sweepstakes, the French Sweepstakes, the Texas Beef Steaks, the Swiss Steaks, and an Iguana-for-Life-Stakes from the Galapagos Islands…
**I am apparently the only heir to virtually every dead zillionaire in Africa. (Africa is not a good place to be a zillionaire—they’re all dead). When I collect all the money I have inherited or shall share just for being helpful (see, Russel—you’re right, being helpful does payoff) I should have greater assets that Bill Gates, Warren Buffet, and Paul Allen combined. **
**But, in the mean time, could anyone “advance” me a little loan??? Say, 100 bucks until my bookie gets out of jail?? **
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